Fading Away
by L.M. Avalon
Summary: As a last attempt to bring back their long gone friends, Inuyasha just has to be the hero one last time. But can Kagome let him go through with it when it means he will be little more than a fading memory? AU. Oneshot. Inu/Kag.


This was meant as a nonAU, but was obviously written before the ending of _Inuyasha_ was released. This is a bittersweet oneshot that a picture by Druihdgirl, on mediaminer, gave me an idea for. Please enjoy. This is the first time I'll be writing in 1st person.

Edited (very lightly!): 6/22/2011

Disclaimer: I don't own _Inuyasha_.

* * *

Fading Away

* * *

"Inuyasha..." I faltered with whatever I was trying to say as I felt my throat constrict, my body refusing to let me continue. I fought against the feeling. "Are you— are you—?" Curling my slim fingers into a tight fist, I cursed myself silently. I couldn't do it. I couldn't ask him if this was what he really wanted, because asking him would make it real. Even worse, I felt that familiar prick in my eyes, that stinging of my nose, that tugging in my chest. I was going to cry, and I felt ashamed, sure that the emotions swirling around in my chest were making my stormy-colored eyes stormier than usual.

"Kagome..." I flashed my gaze up to look into his worried golden eyes. He flinched when he saw my tears, just like he always did. I found it unbearably sweet that that was his weakness, that he couldn't stand to see a woman cry even after all that he had been through in his life. One of his clawed hands reached out towards me, probably hoping to comfort me, but I stepped back, causing the offending limb to fall short of contact.

Screwing my eyes shut, damning the fact that I was acting immature, I whispered harshly, "No, Inuyasha! You can't! I wont... I wont let you!"

He turned his silver head away from me and growled low in his throat. "Kagome, this is how it's going to end. I'm sorry," his rough voice cracked on the last word, not being used to speaking it out loud.

"No! Don't say 'sorry.' If you really were, you wouldn't be doing this!" I screamed at him, letting anger smother my sadness, praying it would make me feel better. "…Please?" I begged pitifully within the next second.

Inuyasha rubbed the heels of his hands into his eyes. We'd been discussing this for a long time, too long if you asked me. He was running out of arguments, but then again… so was I.

"Kagome," he started off slowly, as if talking to a child. And that's probably what it felt like to him.

"No," I said again, firmly.

"Just stop it!" he snapped, his paper-thin patience reaching the breaking point. My face contorted in a wince at his tone, and he quickly regretted his words. "I'm sorry, it's just... We've been through this!"

"Why?" My voice cracked as I looked up into his amber eyes, more familiar to me than anyone else's. "Why, Inuyasha? _Why_?"

"Why what?" He glowered as he starred down his nose at me. Sometimes, I was certain he used his height to an advantage, purposely emphasizing the fact that he had several inches on me. The intimidation factor.

Inuyasha wouldn't ever admit it, but I could tell he was just as scared about this as I was.

"_Why_ do you always have to be the hero? _Why_ do you always have to the knight in shining armor? _Why_ do you always have to be _right_? Because, you know what? You're _not_ right. Not this time!" I openly shouted at him, hearing my voice echo back at me from the surrounding trees of his forest.

The forest where we'd first met.

And just behind him stood the tree where we had made that very first encounter.

"Because," he stressed the word and cleared his throat uncomfortably. He'd always been so bad with words, almost to the point of it being endearing. Almost. So, instead, he grabbed my hand and began to haul me off to the Go-shinboku tree. I starred numbly at his large, callused, clawed hand that covered my own tiny one. Any joy I might have felt in the last two years for this gesture... It just wasn't there any more.

I knew where we were going.

He paused in front of the massive tree. "That's why," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion.

It seemed like an eternity before I could lift my eyes to what I knew was the inevitable.

Four graves sat in front of me. The slabs of stone were perfectly rounded and smooth, almost beautifully so. Two were large and held the carved names of their owners. The second two were small, fit for the tiny bodies that lay beneath them.

This is where they rested.

Sango, Miroku, Shippou, and even Kirara. All of them were laid to rest at the base of 'our' tree.

Shaking my head slowly as the tears streaked my face unbidden, I took a shuddering breath.

_This was why._

"Inuyasha..." I tried again. I knew I sounded younger than my seventeen years, but it didn't matter, as long as he listened to me. "You... You just can't."

"Kagome!" He whipped around to glare down at me, but his yellowed eyes held no menace, just desperation. He'd been trying for three months to get me to agree. Three months I've listened to him beg, but I refused to listen. Three months since our friends had fallen on the same battlefield as our enemy.

And what was scaring me?

I was starting to wear down. I was out of witty comebacks. I no longer held any bite. I was just so _tired_. So exhausted... So drained of everything.

"Kagome... They meant more to this world! I don't have a place here. I did my duty; Naraku is dead and Kikyou has been laid to rest. But I have no more to do here." He was shaking in rage at his own destiny. "If I don't do it... It'll just start all over again."

"You do have a place! With _me_." Believe it or not, I had no problems saying these words. I'd confronted myself for my love for him years ago. I'd kissed him once to save his life and had wished to do it again so many times since. He'd never admitted to anything, and I knew I never expected him to. I'd done _my_ duty. The jewel was whole, and I'd stayed by his side the entire time.

Sorry to say, but he didn't listen to my plea.

"Kagome! Will you stop?" His normally cocky voice was reduced to a desperate whisper. "You'll be better off. You don't need me! You'll be better off with them, not me."

"No," I sniffed. "I loved them! But I _need_ you!"

"Kagome!" He was just short of clamping his claws over his ears in a childish attempt to block out my words. It bothered him to hear me say I needed him, I could tell. He didn't need to hear the words to know that I loved him, although he probably kept himself in denial over it still.

"There has to be another way." My mind raced quickly, struggling to find some other way to fix everything, to finally put an end to this. "We don't need to do it this way! I can just wish for them back, back with us. Kohaku would love it, he's been lost since he survived and his sister didn't. And Miroku could go through his promise to marry Sango. The Shikon will grant my wish."

"It will," Inuyasha relented, and I breathed a sigh of relief. But he wasn't done speaking yet. "The wish isn't entirely pure, though. I've told you this. Although it may seem selfless, it isn't. There is just that hint of selfishness in there. The jewel would become tainted, again, and it'd still be here. We'd have our friends back, but _you_ would have tainted the jewel. Then you'd never be able to purify it yourself."

"But why this, why?"

Inuyasha closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It still took him awhile to calm down; old habits die hard.

"Because it's the only way," he said finally, simply, quietly.

"What about the Tensaiga?" I asked, the sword finally reaching my mind.

Inuyasha gulped visibly, looking almost guilty in a way I never expected him to. "You saw what happened. Sesshoumaru, he just jumped in front of Rin! He didn't stand a chance, and neither did Rin once her protector was gone. He's dead, Kagome, and with him so is the knowledge of how to use the Sword of Healing." _Damn Naraku_, I could almost hear his mind adding.

"But you're his brother!" I shouted. "Why can't you use it? Why can't you make it work?"

Inuyasha's sigh depressed me. He sounded as tired as I felt. Tired of everything. Tired of everyone around us dying and leaving us alone. Tired of the world itself, and the whole unfairness of it.

"Get the jewel, Kagome, this is how it will end," he commanded, his "leader" voice firmly in place.

Feeling fresh tears trail down my face, I yanked out the damn jewel from where it had been hidden underneath my shirt. "I have it with me, like I always do." The purple sphere chimed almost cheerfully when it connected with the crystal chain around my neck.

"Good. Now do it."

"But…" I took a deep breath. I couldn't do it.

I couldn't wish for the ending of his life. Even if it was for a good cause.

I couldn't wish for his life to be sacrificed so that my other friends could come back to me.

The thought of denying him and sacrificing myself crossed my mind, but was quickly crossed out. As odd as it sounded, there had to be some selfishness in there, too. More than likely, the fact that I would be riding the world of me so that my love could live would somehow taint the jewel in the same unexplicable way that wishing for people to be alive again would also be considered selfish. It was why Inuyasha couldn't do the wishing himself either. I had to be the one to wish him gone, and I had to do it with no malice.

"Now," Inuyasha stated firmly while keeping his eyes trained on me.

I glanced up at him, savoring his image. I memorized every part about him. It was a good last scene of him: His sword at his side while the sun set behind him. His silver hair had a golden halo from the last of the star's rays slanting across the Earth. His golden eyes were deeper, and he seemed, in that moment, like he was wiser beyond his years, like he'd been to hell and back.

And he had been.

He closed his eyes loosely as he waited for me to do my job, to wish his life to flow into those that were buried nearby, for him to sacrafice his life for the good of others and the very world itself.

For him to simply just fade away from my life.

Closing my streaming eyes… _I did._

I wished that he would be allowed to leave this world to allow the others to come back.

As cocky and arrogant as he was, he was just as brave, and I loved him for it.

When my eyes opened, I dully recognized that the solid jewel that had been clasped in my fingers moments before was simply now only a cloud of pale pink light.

All my attention was on him.

On _my_ Inuyasha.

He smirked cockily back at me, and I couldn't stop a small smile from tweaking my lips. The jewel was gone, the balance between demons and human kind leveled out, and Midoriko could finally rest in peace. The wish had purified the jewel, and it was _gone_. And all because of one cocky, egotistical, arrogant, jerk of a hanyou who refused to let the day end without being a hero.

Taking a few steps forward, my bare feet padded softly over the dirt and grass. My kimono swayed in the light spring breeze. My school uniform lay in tatters at old Kaede's hut, and I hadn't been back home since Naraku's defeat to grab a new one.

Standing toe to toe with him, I lifted my eyes up to lock with his.

"Do you know what today is?" Inuyasha asked suddenly. He chuckled almost affectionately at my clueless look, and I had to resist the urge to "sit" him. Too bad I had gotten rid of that rosary a few months before the final battle. "What?" I whispered, afraid to ruin our last moment together.

"Your birthday." He smirked, and my breath caught in my throat as he reached forward to tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "The anniversary of the day we met."

"And you tried to kill me," I added dryly.

He let out a deep laugh at that, as though genuinely amused by the memory. "Sorry about that."

"Eh, I got over it," I said lightly, dismissively, glancing around the forest and hoping my tears wouldn't fall.

I gasped as I finally took a real, hard look at him. Glancing down at his bare feet I felt my stomach twist in knots. "No..."

"What?" he asked before following my gaze downward. "Oh."

His flesh was barely noticeable and was transparent enough to see the bright green grass beneath him. The horrible fading effect was starting low and working itself upward.

"Inuyasha... You're really leaving?"

He shrugged nonchalantly, but I could see the tiny spark of fear in his eyes. Those gorgeous eyes of his. "I guess."

"You know I love you, right?" I asked, as simply and straightforwardly as I could.

He surprised me. Inuyasha smirked confidently and coolly stated, "I know. I've always known." And then, without any of the hesitance or the meekness I'd always imagined, he replied simply as my original statement had been. "And I feel the same way. I love you, too."

Not wanting to waste time gaping, as I'd often thought I would have, I smiled. One of my bright, happy-go-lucky, perfectly sweet smiles. "Thank you."

"Feh," he stuck his hands up his sleeves and looked towards the graves.

The fading was worse now.

I couldn't see any of him below the chest.

Taking a deep breath, I looked up at him. My mouth twisted, and my eyes pooled over despite my stubborn will to not cry. "I'm going to miss you, you know? You big idiot. You should have just stayed... We could have been happy. We could have lived in the village, even without Kaede. Bless her lost soul. They do accept you there."

Inuyasha flashed me a look and muttered, "You know you wouldn't have done that."

I scowled.

He was right; I wouldn't have left my friends to stay dead. I would have done everything in my power to allow them to live out the rest of their too short lives.

But Inuyasha had beaten me to it.

He'd found the solution. The solution to everything.

I snorted quietly.

That _jackass_. He had all the dumb luck. There was no way he could convince me that he had figured this all out on purpose.

"You won't forget me?" he asked suddenly, that very puppyish look gracing his perfect, handsome features. That meant his eyes went wide and his ears tucked themselves close to his head, drooping with worry.

I rolled my eyes at him. No chance of that happening. "I wouldn't forget you for the world. I'll miss you everyday. You won't forget _me_?"

He looked absolutely disgusted by the idea, and I was surprised when I found myself laughing at his expression in spite of everything happening around us. It looked like he'd bitten into a lemon.

"I'd rather kiss the ground my brother walks on before I did that," he announced.

I chuckled. Little to no chance of that happening either.

My mood quickly souring, I took stock of the situation. It was horrible. Almost all of his body was nothing but a simple sheen of color on reality, like a ghost or a spirit.

I could only see his face clearly now. That face that I'd met two years ago on this very day. The face that I've longed to wake up to every morning at side. The face that I'd wanted to kiss every single day.

He narrowed his eyes as if reading my mind.

"Don't say goodbye, Kagome." He seemed to be trying to make an effort to sound at least half way reasonable. "I'll wait. I swear I will, I'll wait until the end of eternity. As long as you come back to me. Remember, you did say you'd stay by my side forever!"

I nodded, my eyes never leaving his.

Leaning forward and downward till our foreheads touched, he whispered, "I'll see you soon."

And then he kissed me. It was light and airy, as sweet as can be. I nearly cried out in alarm, as I felt his solid lips disappear. His smooth flesh only a memory now.

Inuyasha, my Inuyasha, was gone.

Even when I could still feel the warmth of his finger on my face, from when he'd tucked the hair behind my ear only minutes ago.

And now I'd wait. I'd wait for the magic to take effect and to be reunited with my friends that I'd lost not so long ago.

And soon, I'd be reunited with my love.

Even after he just faded away.

* * *

THE END

The sequel is titled _Beyond Life and Death_.


End file.
